nassaucoliseum

Rangers Defeat Islanders By Forfeit (Faux Preseason Game 4)

In an effort to lighten the mood during the lockout, The New York Rangers Blog will be writing faux recaps for every Rangers game missed due to the work stoppage. Enjoy.

Uniondale, NY – For just the third time in NHL history a game was decided by a forfeit as the New York Rangers were awarded the victory over the New York Islanders after the Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum was deemed unsafe for play.

"The first clue that conditions might be dangerous was when we walked into the area and the Jumbotron was impaled into center ice," said an amused John Tortorella.

No one was fatally injured in the accident, however, Rick DiPietro suffered a pulled groin when he jumped out of the way of the fallen object while taking his pregame skate. He will be out 3-5 months.

"With everything that's gone on in my career, I would have almost rather it landed on me and just ended it," said a visibly upset DiPietro.

Also found in the Rangers locker room were piles of asbestos dust.

"Originally, I had thought Isles head coach Jack Capuano had gone through here with his daily box of powdered donuts," said Rangers Assistant GM Jim Schoenfeld, who knows a thing or two about donuts. "But once the biohazard team finished their tests we knew we had to evacuate the facility right away."

These two safety concerns, in addition to the lingering plumbing and structural issues forced the NHL's hand.

"This is a new low even for us," said John Tavares. "I can't believe I signed an extension with this team."

After the forfeit was made official, the NHL released this statement:

"In response to the Islanders disregard for human life, we felt it was necessary to issue a forfeit for tonight's game. Because the violation was so egregious, the Islanders will also be forced to wear their Gordan Fisherman jerseys for the entire season as additional punishment."

While the Rangers were happy to get the victory, most bubble players would have rather played the game.

"Whenever you're trying to make an impression during training camp the last game you want canceled is the one against the Islanders," noted a disappointed Petr Nedved. "It's a guaranteed three point night."

Upon hearing that the Rangers were traveling to Kansas City the next morning for their Saturday night preseason game against the Avalanche, Islanders owner Charles Wang was overheard asking Glen Sather if the entire Islanders organization could hitch a ride.

The Rangers are now 3-0-1 this preseason.

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Kevin

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