I get it. Henrik Lundqvist is perfect. Literally perfect. He’s literally and metaphorically a rockstar, the backbone of the New York Rangers, and married to Swedish royalty. I am not at all afraid to publicly embrace my mancrush on Henrik Lundqvist. And thus, I don’t hold it against anyone who feels the same way. But there’s a certain boundary that can’t be crossed, or else it just becomes weird. Some decided to cross that boundary after making Henrik Lundqvist fan fiction a thing. This one is titled NHL Disney Prince: Hard Hat Henrik. And here’s an excerpt from the story:
“This is a wonderful table,” you say and admire the dark grain.
“Oh really?” Henrik says almost bashfully. “I made it. And the chairs too. The couch…” he points across to the living room, “it’s in progress. I’m learning how to upholster. I found this amazing sofa someone was throwing in the trash, so I tossed it in the back of my truck and decided to use the fabric. Upcycle, you know? Help the environment.”
You finally take a swig of tea because you cannot think of something to say. You half hope the tea is poisoned so you can die in the presence of the perfect man. But the tea doesn’t kill you. And, really? Are you kidding me? He makes the execution Lipton tea bags seem like an art form.
Umm…yeah…let’s just move on and pretend this never happened.
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